Larry decides to go see a doctor

He's been experiencing severe pain in his right elbow, so he thinks he should go see a doctor. He tells his best friend about his plan.

'Don't go to the doctor's, they don't know shit,' says his best friend. 'There's this new computer at the pharmacy on the corner of the street. You just have to take a urine sample to the machine, pay $2 and it'll immediatly tell you what your diagnosis is!'

Larry decides he'll go check out this wonderful new computer... after all, he's got nothing to lose. So he takes a urine sample to the pharmacy and pays $2. The machine starts working on it, it takes a few minutes, and after a while it produces a little note with the following diagnosis:

'You have strained joints. Soak your elbow in hot water, avoid hard physical work and you'll be fine within two weeks.'

Larry is really surprised, but isn't quite sure about the whole thing. Therefore, he decides he'll test whether the machine is for real with a funky idea. At home, he prepares a mix of tap water and dog urine, and then adds his daughter's and his wife's urine as well as his own sperm. He promptly returns to the pharmacy with the mix, pays $2 and waits. After a few minutes, the computer produces a little note again with the diagnosis:

'The tap water at your home is too hard. Use water softener.

Your dog is struggling with annelids. Give him deworming medication.

Your daughter is taking drugs. Take her to a detoxification institute.

Your wife is pregnant, but the child isn't yours. Find a lawyer.

And Larry, if you don't stop masturbating, your elbow is never gonna heal!'