Joe returns home from basic training.

Joe finishes his basic training for the Army, and decides to surprise his family by coming home unannounced. His family is shocked, but everyone is happy to have him back home. After dinner, his mother and siblings head for bed, and Joe and his father remain at the table to have a couple beers and catch up. The following conversation ensued:

"So Joe, how'd it go?"

"Went great Dad. I'm in the best shape of my life, and I learned a lot" Joe replied.

"What would you say was the hardest part about training?"

"Airborne School, hands down."

"Why's that?"

Joe hesitated for a second, and said "Well, everything started off good. I remained calm all the way up until the door in the plane opened, and it was time to jump. I was first in line, so I didn't have the luxury of watching others go before me. I suddenly felt an uncontrollable wave of fear come over me. When the light turned green, I turned to my commanding officer and told him that I just couldn't do it.."

"Ok.." his father replied, as his eyebrow lifted from confusion. "So, what happened?"

"My commanding officer walked up to me, pulled his cigar from his mouth and threw it off my helmet. With spit spraying from his mouth he screamed "PRIVATE, IF YOU DON'T JUMP OUT OF THIS GOD DAMN PLANE, I'M GOING TO SHOVE MY BIG BLACK DICK SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A BACKHOE TO PULL IT OUT!""

There was a long pause.

"...Did you jump?" his father asked.

Joe nodded mildly, looked up at his father and said, "A little".


Sorry for any grammar mistakes. My Uncle Rick told this one (and a few others to be posted this week) yesterday during a family picnic and I had to share. Thanks for reading!