Jesse's Apology

Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of
procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to the population for
my act of copulation.
I gave in to temptation, for the anticipation of sexual gratification, that I
could not obtain through masturbation, which resulted in my fornication. I
accepted her invitation, and provided her with excitation, stimulation,
penetration, replication, and liberation. She provided lubrication (to avoid
inflammation) and I wore condoms to avoid contamination. She cried for
duplication but I insisted upon termination, in spite of her fascination with
variation.
This has caused me great aggravation, and the agitation and provocation of the
media has resulted in my humiliation, denigration, and degradation. My wife is
considering castration, which would require my hospitalization.
Pray that this matter will find culmination in my sanctification and
rehabilitation so that my plans for nomination to my ultimate vocation will not
result in revocation and termination. I hope this proclamation has provided
illumination and verification and will prohibit further provocation.
Sincerely,
The Rev. Jesse Jackson.