I've made my decision. I can finally say that I'd like to have some kids. Trust me, I know I can raise then right.

I had a friend...

I told him that statistically, the modern airplane is more afraid of us than...

The Cliff

Why did the penny jump off the cliff and not the quarter? Because the...

Too soon.

I was sitting at the bar babying my drink and I turn to notice a beautiful...

You look so...

I am fifteen.

Turnip

A school teacher asks her class, "What vegetable makes your eyes water?"...

Argon walks into...

The bartender looks up angrily, yelling at him, "Get out! We don't take stuck...

Why are there no...

They would get beaten by Michael Vick

Why didn't the...

He had cold feet.

No Arms Nor Legs

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: "Nice tits!"

What do gay crows...

Cawk!