...the double basses have a few big chords right at the start, then nothing for 10 minutes, then come in right at the end for the big finale. During rehearsals, the bass players started putting down their instruments, going for a quick drink, and comng back in time for the end.
On the night of the concert, they did the same thing. It was a hot night, so they drank a bit more. After 10 minutes, one of them said, "Hey, shouldn't we be getting back?" "No need," said another. "I've tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together, so he'll have to conduct very slowly while he gets the score undone."
When they get back, slightly hammered, the conductor's looking furious. He sees how drunk they all are, waves his hands to bring the orchestra to a stop, and storms off stage. There's a reporter waiting in the wings and he says, "What's going on? Why so angry?" The conductor snarls:
"Because it's the last of the Ninth, the score's tied, and the basses are loaded!"
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