In the land of Cheerios...

In the land of Cheerios there is a cast system. At the top there are the king and queen Cheerios, next come the noble Cheerios, then the night Cheerios who are responsible for law enforcement in the land, then come the peasant Cheerios who are somewhat oppressed but work hard and get by, and then there are the gangster Cheerios who break the rules and steal from other hard working Cheerios. Some gangster Cheerios however were born into the gangster Cheerios cast, and want nothing more than to live an honest life, unfortunately, everyone, even the peasant Cheerios look down on them.
One day, a young gangster cheerio who wanted to escape his cast, decided he wanted a friend who was not a gangster cheerio to hang out with. So he went to the peasant Cheerios, and knocked on the door. A peasant cheerio answered, and said "hello gangster cheerio, how can I help you?" The gangster cheerio responded "hi peasant cheerio, I was wondering if you wanted to be friends with me" the peasant cheerio said "look, I'm sorry gangster cheerio, but if the knight Cheerios found out that I was friends with a gangster cheerio, they would have me locked up." The gangster cheerio responds "that's okay, I understand" and walks home, a little put out.

The next day, he wakes up, puts on his brave face, and goes out into the country in search of a knight cheerio. He sees one a little ways off and goes over to talk to him. Excuse me, knight cheerio? I was wondering if you wanted tone friends with me" he said in a hopeful voice. The knight cheerio turned around, looked him up and down, and, with his nose in the air, said "Gangster cheerio, I should really arrest you right now, but I'll let you off easy, get out of my line of sight, and I won't have to cuff you." So gangster cheerio walked on home, a little dejected.

The next day, gangster cheerio decided to venture up to the nobles mansion, he hiked up to the front doors, and looked at how fancy it all was, then he wrong the bell. A nobleman cheerio answered, took one look at the gangster cheerio, and slammed the door in his face. Gangster cheerio went home really depressed that night.

The next day gangster cheerio was nervous, today was when he would visit the king, and this was his last chance to make a friend. He trekked on up to the royal palace, and knocked on the door. He was shown in and asked to wait in the sitting room. A few moments later, the king cheerio entered the room. "King cheerio" said the gangster cheerio "will you be friends with me?" "Of course I'll be friends with you" responded the king cheerio. The gangster cheerio was elated.
"So" said the king cheerio "what do you want to do now that we are friends, we could either go to the circus, or go to the fair"
"I would like to go to the circus" said the gangster cheerio. The king pulls out his iPhone and checks four square.
"Well" he says "there are a thousand people at the circus, but only dive hundred at the fair"
Alright then, let's go to the fair" says the gangster cheerio
So they went to the fair and decide they want to go on a ride, there is a roller coaster and a Ferris wheel.
"Do you want to go on the roller coaster, or the Ferris wheel?" Asks the king
"I would like to go on the Ferris wheel" says the gangster cheerio
So the king checks four square
"There are four hundred people in line at the Ferris wheel, but only two hundred in line at the roller coaster" he says
"Alright then, let's do the roller coaster" says the gangster cheerio
They ride the roller coaster, get off, and decide they are kind of hungry. There are two kinds of food available, hamburgers, and hot diggitty-dogs [do not ask me why they are called that, they just are].
"Do you want hamburgers or hot diggitty-dogs?" Asks the king
"I would like hamburgers" says the gangster cheerio
The king checks four square, and says
"There are twenty people in line for hamburgers, but only ten in line for hot diggitty-dogs"
"Alright then, let's get hot diggitty-dogs" says the gangster cheerio
They finish their hot diggitty-dogs, and realize they are thirsty. There is root beer and punch available.
"Do you want root beer or punch!" Asks the king
"I would like root beer" says the gangster cheerio
So the king pulls out his phone, checks four square and sees that there are five people in line for the root beer,
But there's no punch line!