I'm not drunk

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else...


After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task.


I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.


Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.


I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.


I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.


I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.


I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.


Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.


When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had
all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.


I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am.


I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.