I used to have a co-worker named Joe.

He seemed to have come out of no where. When he first got the job, We asked him where he was from, but he would always just shrug off the question. Nevertheless, Joe and I got along really well.

One day, he approached me and asked if he could move in with me and my girlfriend. He told us about how our job wasn't paying enough for him to live alone, so we agreed and he moved in a few days later.

He was an alright roommate. He always cleaned up after himself, he never made the apartment smell, and he was always on time when rent was due. The only thing that made me nervous about him was the way he looked at my girlfriend with a face of lust on his face. I eventually asked my girlfriend is she had noticed him doing this. She timidly declined noticing.

Several months pass, and I receive some wonderful news; my girlfriend is pregnant! With Joe living in our apartment, I had been able to save more money in the bank, so after receiving the news, I immediately went out and bought a set of wedding rings and brought my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant that night. It was there that I proposed to her. The moment I did, however, she began to tear up and say that she couldn't marry me. I asked her why. She told me that the baby wasn't mine, it was Joe's.

Filled with rage, I immediately drove home and confronted Joe about what he had done. He tried telling me to calm down, but in my rage, I threw a punch that hit him right in the eye. He screamed in pain and ran into his room. By the time he emerged an hour later, he had packed his suitcase full of all of his things. His eye had swollen up and looked like a ball of cotton. He left that night, and as quick as he had entered my life, he was gone.

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I'd been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

*I found this beauty on a 4chan greentext a few months ago, but I have no idea who wrote it.*