...and his wife said, "If you ever come home drunk again, I'm going to leave you." One night, he went out to a pub, drank a lot, and threw up all over his shirt. He said to his friend, "If I go home like this my wife will leave me." His friend, after a brief moment of thought, came up with an idea, "I'll tell you what, put a £20 note in your inside jacket pocket, go home, and show it to her. Tell her somebody threw up on you and he gave you the money for the dry cleaning bill."
He goes home and his wife, angry at the state of him, tells him she is leaving but he says, "No, no, no, somebody threw up on me and he put a £20 note in my jacket pocket for the dry cleaning bill." His wife digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out some money, but then she asked, "Why have you got two £20 notes in there?" He replied, "Oh, the other is from the man who crapped in my pants."
Source: Sir Clement Freud (with some alterations)
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