I Got Pull Over Today (real conversation with cop)

So….today I got pulled over about 15 feet from the front of my building on my way to work for rolling a stop as I was putting my seatbelt on. I just left it unbuckled so he didn’t think I was trying to pull one over on him.

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Because I’m an idiot.

Officer: [grinning] Well.

Me: I rolled a stop. Stupid. [awkwardly] I am… stupid.

Officer: Yeah.

Me: I’m sorry. That was….I’m sorry.

Officer: [giving me that odd look like maybe noone has apologized for driving like a moron] Where are you going?

Me: To work. Shit…yeah…I’m late for work.

Officer: Do you know what happens when you roll a stop in front of a cop?

Me: Uh …you get…. pulled over?

Officer: And?

Me: [Having a highschool SAT flashback] You go broke and have to live in a van?

Officer: [laughs] Yeah.

Me: [daydreams of what it would be like to be best friends with a cop]

Officer: Do you want a ticket?

Me: [to hawaii maybe....amiright?...No that's stupid] No?….Sir?

Officer: Go to work. And what have we learned?

Me: Don’t roll stops?

Officer: Don’t roll stops….in front of an officer.

Me: Yes sir. Thank you.

Officer: Put your seatbelt on.

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