She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - she is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
She has not BEEN AROUND - she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - she commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not GO SHOPPING - she is MALL FLUENT.
She is not an AIR HEAD - she is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - she achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - she is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - she has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not NAG YOU - she becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
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