Hi Alan – It’s John from next door. I need to talk to you about

something I am very ashamed of and know you will probably be quite angry about. The last 3 months we have been sharing your wife. Not every day, but at least 3 times a week and my girlfriend found out yesterday and is making me tell you. I didn’t want to tell you face to face so decide to message you. Sorry buddy.

“Damn Straight it wont happen again” says Alan as he stares at the screen of his phone. With this, he goes to the bedroom, takes his gun and goes into the kitchen where his other half is preparing dinner. Without a word he shoots her twice in the head.

As her lifeless body drops to the floor, Alan's phone receives another message: “John again from next door – stupid autocorrect, sure you saw the typo. Anyway we have our own router and broadband now, it wont happen again.

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