hangs his head in disappointment and shame, knowing he's contracted an STD,


A old man who's been in a nursing home for many years starts bugging the administrator to let him have a weekend pass, to 'sow his last wild oats', he says, before he finally passes on. Every week he asks the same question and every week he's turned down.
Months later there's a change of staff, with a much younger administrator assigned to the home. Our man starts right away with his weekend request. The new administrator has a little more compassion than the last one and says to the old man, "If I let you go for a weekend, will you promise me you'll return on Monday morning?" Ecstatic, the old man swears on his grandmother's grave and he's awarded his wish.
Friday evening comes and the old man calls a cab. He heads straight to the nearest bar. He nurses a few beers for a while when in walks an old woman and sits at the end of the bar. Our man starts giving her the 'high sign', sends down several drinks, and is finally welcomed to sit by her. They chat for a while and he eventually talks her into going to a motel close by.
All Friday night they go at it,,,,,,,,,,all day Saturday,,,,,Saturday afternoon,,,,,,,,Saturday evening,,,,,,,,,(they did go to church on Sunday morning),,,,,,,,,then back at it all day Sunday,,,,, and into Sunday night. An entire weekend of unprotected sex.
True to his word, our man returns to the nursing home on Monday morning, smiling a very satisfied smile. The administrator welcomes him back and the old man thanks him again and again.
Several days later the old man wakes up, only to find a yellowish discharge coming from his penis. "Oh, my God!!", he thinks to himself,,,,,,,"94 years old and I'm going to die with a disease".
He sees the staff doctor that afternoon. The doc checks him over, running numerous tests and then, with a grim, studied look at the chart, says to the old man, "Have you had sexual intercourse within the last week or so?"
The old man hangs his head in disappointment and shame, knowing he's contracted an STD, then says with a sorrowful sigh,,,,,,"Well, yes I have".
The doc looks him straight in the eye and says, "Well you better get back there. You're just about ready to come".

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.