Growing old

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.


2) Insanity is my only means of relaxation.


3) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.


4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.


5) One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.


6) God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.


7) I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.


8 ) There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.


9) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.


10) Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.


11) Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.


Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis