Gin VS Rum VS Tequila VS Whiskey VS Wine VS Vodka Competition

First, everybody gangs up on Gin because its horrible and no one likes it. Wine is the next to go because it a lover, not a fighter. Whiskey and Vodka lock up, while Tequila throws a fighting cock at Rum, who is simply not strong enough to fight back. Tequila then goes to stab Vodka in the back with a rusty knife, Tequila sure is a dirty motherfucker! However Vodka is surprisingly functional and avoids Tequila's blade as it sinks into Whiskey instead, Whiskey was just too damn lazy to do anything about it. Vodka then pulls out a hammer and sickle and kills Tequila! For a moment, it seems like Vodka has won, but then Vodka crumbles into a hundred smaller pieces because communism will never work.
Meanwhile, Beer sits in the stands, thoroughly entertained and unharmed. Beer wins.

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