Four Nuns in Heaven

Four nuns die and go to heaven. At the gates, they are told by God that they must confess and purify themselves before entering. So the Nuns begin their confessions, one by one.

1st nun: Dear Lord, I have only one thing to confess. Once, out of really bad judgement, I gave a handjob to Father in the Church.

God: Rise, my daughter. This sin was committed by your hands. Go rinse your hands in Holy Water, be done with this, and enter your heavenly abode.

2nd Nun: Dear Lord, I too have a sin to confess. Once, out of bad judgement, I let Father play with my breasts. I am terribly ashamed.

God: Rise, my daughter. This sin was committed by your breasts. Go rinse your breasts in Holy Water, be done with this, and enter your heavenly abode.

By this time, the other two Nuns are in a heated argument over something. You can't hear what they're saying because they're all nunny and speaking at once.

God: Silence please, my daughters. We can resolve whatever it is - I am your Lord and I am here to listen. Speak one at a time.

4th Nun: Dear Lord, I'd like to move up in the line and go before 3rd Nun, please.

God: Sure, but why?

4th Nun: Because I don't want to gargle with the Holy Water right after she's washed her ass in it.

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.