Flying Humor

All of the following are said to be true stories. . . -- you decide! -- The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360 (do a complete circle, usually done to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, 'Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?' Without missing a beat the controller replied, 'Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth.' PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said 'Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go first.' The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation. A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing roll out after landing with his approach speed just a little too high... San Jose Tower: 'American 751 Heavy, turn right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off of Highway 101 back to the airport.'Tower: 'Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7.' Eastern 702: 'Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure... by the way, as we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.' Tower: 'Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7... did you copy the report from Eastern?' Continental 635: 'Continental 635, cleared for takeoff... and yes, we copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers.'