First Dates

CAUCASIAN WOMAN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position.


IRISH WOMAN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.


ITALIAN WOMAN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents; her mom makes spaghetti &
meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on
a 3 carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the
thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.


JEWISH WOMAN:
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and you never get head
again.


CHINESE WOMAN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing
happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but
nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have
already realized nothing is going to happen.


INDIAN WOMAN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.


BLACK WOMAN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real
expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant.


LATIN WOMAN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get her drunk on
Riunite, have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She is pregnant.
Third Date: Move in with her, her two cousins, and her sister's
boyfriend, and live happily ever after eating rice and beans in
the Bronx..