FEED ME DARKS JOKES TILL I GO TO HELL!!!

I need one ticket to hell. well maybe two, for my dog, i could use the company. if you could help me laugh my way to hell that would be amazing! plez reddit I need your help! FEED ME DARK JOKES!
But first we need rules for this:
Rule 1: must be a joke.
Rule 2: non political statements
Rule 3: if you are offended by a joke, sucks for you

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