Even "Dear Abby" is Stumped

Dear Abby:

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby:

What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby:

I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby:

I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby:

I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby:

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a Good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby:

My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $60 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby:

Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he did it.

Dear Abby:

My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

Dear Abby:

You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.