Evaluation Code Key

Performance appraisal terms and their real meanings:


AVERAGE EMPLOYEE:


Not too bright.


EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED:


Made no major blunders - yet.


ACTIVE SOCIALLY:


Drinks a lot.


FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY:


Spouse drinks, too.


CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH:


Still one step ahead of the cops.


ZEALOUS ATTITUDE:


Opinionated.


QUICK THINKING:


Offers plausible excuses for mistakes.


CAREFUL THINKER:


Won't make a decision.


TAKES PRIDE IN WORK:


Conceited.


PLANS FOR ADVANCEMENT:


Buys drinks for all the boys in the office at happy hour.


FORCEFUL:


Argumentative.


AGGRESSIVE:


Obnoxious.


USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS:


Gets someone else to do it.


A KEEN ANALYST:


Thoroughly confused.


EXPRESS THEMSELVES WELL:


Speak English.


CONSCIENTIOUS:


Scared.


METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL:


A nit picker.


HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES:


Is tall or has a loud voice.


EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGMENT:


Lucky.


KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR:


Knows a lot of dirty jokes.


STRONG PRINCIPLES:


Stubborn.


CAREER MINDED:


Back Stabber.


COMING ALONG WELL:


About to be let go.


OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION:


Gets to work on time.


RELAXED ATTITUDE:


Sleeps at desk.


EXPERIENCED PROBLEM SOLVER:


Screws up often.


WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY:


Too ugly to get a date.


INDEPENDENT WORKER:


Nobody knows what he/she does all day.


FORWARD THINKING:


Procrastinator.


GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS:


Able to BS well.


GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:


Spends lots of time on phone.


LOYAL:


Can't get a job anywhere else.