You first choose the pretty girl. You find out you have a lot in common, shes just like your last best friend, and as a bonus, you can cross the first girl to have ever bought you a drink off you list!. But then you realize... something: She put the drink on your tab, and shes got BAGGAGE! She is in a horrible marriage, probably a criminal record, a laundry list of failed friendships, and all those things you "had in common" was a product of her agreeing with everything you said. You realize this was a bad idea, so you move onto Santa Clause.
Santa promises to make your dreams come true. That debt you have? Gone. All those problems? Gone. Great! you've finally made a friend you can count on! While he wasn't lying about any of that, you realize that Santa isn't real, and Santa is actually the owner of the bar. While he can help you in the ways he said, he also is charging you the tax on the drink, a delayed cover charge, a "convenience" fee, a pouring fee, and a delivery fee. Next thing you know, your free drink just cost you 3/4ths of the money you walked in here with. You realize there's more to pay for free than not, so you say no thanks, and approach the popular guy.
Wow this guy is cool! And he wants to be YOUR friend?! NO WAY! Now you have a rich and cool friend! Friendship should come easy to him, considering he has so much money, right?! Yeah, sure, he thinks the people in the corner with the funny hats and the stupid accents should be escorted out. Sure, he talks shit about everybody you know, but that's just his ego, right? There's no way he would talk about you behind your back! Not you! He's the one who asked you, remember? Then you realize all of your best friends have stopped talking to you. Even your business colleagues have ceased relations with you. You're not taken seriously anymore, and even worse off, the cool dude isn't hitting you up anymore to hang out. He doesn't reply to your texts or calls. You're left with the memory of a fun ride, and that's about it. You've sacrificed your friendships for money and fame, and you got none of that.
Oh yeah, I forgot. The punchline! WE'RE ALL FUCKED!
Good day, and thanks for reading
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