Due to severe overpopulation, God now only allows people who have died terrible deaths to enter Heaven.

WAs God waits near a gate, he is approached a man, where God immediately asks him, "How did you die?".

The man replied, "Well you see, I have always suspected that my wife was cheating on me for at least a few years now. I came home one day to my apartment to see her lying naked in bed, and when I looked over to the balcony, I could see someone holding onto the railing. I asked them, 'What the Hell are you doing here?!", but he wouldn't reply. I immediately knew that my wife was cheating with him on me. So while my wife was sleeping, I walked up to the man and started punching his hands, in order to make him fall off.

But he wouldn't let go.

So I went and grabbed a knife from the kitchen and started cutting off his fingers. He let go of the railing and fell down about twenty five storeys before hitting the ground.

He was still alive.

Still angry, I went to the kitchen once more and dragged a refrigerator towards the balcony. I then threw the refrigerator over the railing, but my hand must have been caught in the handle of the refrigerator, and so I fell as well. And that's how I died."

God frowned and said, "Well, I guess that's a pretty terrible way to die. I'll let you in.". He opened the gates and let the man in, before closing them off once more.
Soon afterwards, he was greeted by a second man.

"How did you die?", God asked. He then realised that the man was deaf, and started moving his hands, communicating in sign language.

The man replied by moving his hands as well, , "Well, I was doing exercises out on the balcony of my apartment, when suddenly, I slipped and fell. I was lucky enough to grab onto the railing on the floor below mine, and hung on. Suddenly, a man appeared in front of me. He yelled something at me, but I couldn't understand him because I am deaf. Without warning, he quickly began hitting my hands, but I still managed to hang on. He then quickly left and came back again, and then began cutting my fingers off! I couldn't hold on anymore, and let go. I miraculously managed to survive the fall, but I could not move, as I was now paralyzed. A minute later, the man threw a refrigerator and himself off the building, killing me in the process."

God cringed as he finished listening and moved his hands around, saying "Jesus Christ, just go through the gate!"

"Thank you." The gate opened once more, and closed as the deaf man walked through.

Half an hour later, a third man appeared at the gate, and once more, God asked, "How did you die?"

The man replied, "Well you see, I was hiding naked inside a refrigerator and . . ."