Drunken Scottsman

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he’d drunk more than his share.

He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet.
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by. One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye.

See young sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built, I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt.

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be.
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
There behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt, was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone.
Let’s leave a present for our friend, before we move along.
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show.

Now the Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled toward the trees.
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
In a startled voice he says to what’s before his eyes.
O lad I don’t know where you been but I see you won first prize.

This is my Scottish father's favorite joke.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ35SOU9HTM