Guy drinking at a bar get's so drunk the bartender cuts him off and calls him a cab.
Guy gets up to leave and then just pukes all over his own shirt. "Oh no my wife will kill me for getting so drunk and ruining my shirt! I can't go home!"
Bartender frustrated tells the man. "Just tell her you were sick"
Guy: "Oh I can't lie to my wife she always knows when i'm lying"
Bartender: " Ok then, do you have $5?"
Guy: Yes!
Bartender: "ok take it out and put it in your shirt pocket. Tell your wife some drunk asshole puked all over you and paid to have it dry cleaned, then it won't be a lie"
Guy: "Hell yea that might work! Thanks!"
Guy get's in the cab goes home with wife waiting at the door. Tells her the story about how some drunk puked on him and gave him $5 to clean his shirt.
Wife: "But there is $10 here"
Guy: "yea he shit my pants too!"
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