The British speech:
"If you are ferocious in battle, remember to be magnanimous
in victory, we go to liberate, not to conquer.
We are entering Iraq to free a people, and the only flag
that will be flown in that ancient land is their own. Don't
treat them as refugees, for they are in their own country.
If there are casualties of war, then remember, when they
woke up and got dressed in the morning they did not plan to
die this day. Allow them dignity in death. Bury them
properly and mark their graves. You will be shunned unless
your conduct is of the highest, for your deeds will follow
you down history. Iraq is steeped in history. It is the
site of the Garden of Eden, of the Great Flood and the
birth of Abraham. Tread lightly there."
The US speech :
"When the president says 'Go', look out - it's hammer time"
(followed by "We Will Rock You" at high volume)
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.