DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

> 40-ish........................................49

> Adventurous...................................Slept with everyone

> Athletic......................................No tits

> Average looking...............................Moooo

> Beautiful.....................................Pathological liar

> Buxom.........................................Fat

> Emotionally Secure............................On medication

> Feminist......................................Fat

> Free spirit...................................Junkie

> Friendship first..............................Former slut

> New-Age.......................................Body hair in the wrong places

> Old-fashioned.................................No BJs

> Open-minded...................................Desperate

> Outgoing......................................Loud and Embarrassing

> Professional..................................Bitch

> Voluptuous....................................Very Fat

> Large frame...................................Hugely Fat

> Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker

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