Definitions

Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.


Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.


Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.


Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.


Full Name: What you call your child when you are angry with him/her.


Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.


Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.


Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.


Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.


Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.


Pre-natal: When your life was still somewhat your own.


Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.


Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.


Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's dummy by boiling it and to your last baby's dummy by blowing on it.


Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pyjamas.


Two-Minute Warning: When the baby's face turns red and he/she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.


Verbal: To whine in words.


Whodunnit: None of the kids that live in your house.