Several months ago, there was a major crisis at the New York Zoo. The male gorilla died and the female missed her mate so much, she stopped eating. This persisted for several days and the keepers became very concerned. So, the made inquiries to other zoos to see if they could get a "loaner" male to console the female.
They had no success in finding a loaner. As a consequence they wound up recruiting a hairy chested Italian construction worker. At first he did not want to do it, but they pointed out what a valuable and important service he would be rendering.
Finally, he said, "All right, I will do it on 3 conditions:
1. I don't have to kiss her.
2. Nobody gets to watch.
3. The kids will all be raised Catholic.
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