Choosing a Mate

When Choosing A Mate, Compare These Other Professionals To Computer Programmers
DOCTORS
Supposedly, all women are after a Doctor, so don't expect your relationship to last more than 5 years. Eventually, he'll run off with some nurse from his office, or one of his young women patients who is pretending to be sick. He'll wait until you are stuck with a few kids to do this.


This is not a problem with your programmer husband. He had a hard enough time meeting you. It is unlikely he'll ever meet another woman in his profession.


LAWYER
Do you seriously expect an honest, trusting relationship with someone who gets paid for lying?


Once again, this is not a problem with your programmer spouse. He doesn't have enough social skills to lie convincingly. An additional drawback to marrying a lawyer is when the divorce happens you will get nothing.


SALESMAN
See honesty segment under Lawyer. Plus, he will be traveling to trade shows, etc, where he will be in the company of other equally trustworthy individuals. Don't be surprised when you get the invitation to show up on the Ricki Lake show.


The company that your programmer husband works at will keep him in a cage, often called a cubicle, until he is ready to go home to you.


HAZARDOUS PROFESSIONS, I.E. POLICE OFFICER, FIREFIGHTER, CONSTRUCTION WORKER, ETC.
Your husband, if he is not dead by some accident, will likely be crippled with a back injury, etc, just about the time you are at your sexual peak.


The only hazards that your programmer husband will face is losing his eyesight by staring at the terminal for too long. This hazard actually has some benefits. For one, he will not notice that you are getting older, since you will be a blur. He will remember you as when he first met you, because the memory will still be sharp. And when you ask "Honey, were you looking at her?" he'll honestly be able to say that he didn't even see her.


TEACHER
The only reason he entered this profession is so that he could be surrounded by newly post-pubescent girls who idolize him. He'll be in jail soon, and then you'll have to look for another man.