Children's Prayers

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter the Lord's Prayer. For several
evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully
enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into
temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."


And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as
we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."


A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy,
don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."


A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to
church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright
little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."


The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, & as he preached, he
moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he
moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord & nearly tripping before jerking
it again. After several circles & jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned
toward her mother & whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"


Six-year old Angie & her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in
church. Joel giggled, sang & talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had
enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to
stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church & said, "See those
two men standing by the door? They're hushers."


A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys
began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the
opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let
my brother have the first pancake, I can wait'". Kevin turned to his younger
brother & said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"


A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year old son ran up
to him, grabbed his hand, & led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in
the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died & went to
Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment & then said, "Did God throw
him back down?"


A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to
discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, & shouted, "Thou shall not take the covers
off thy neighbor's wife."


At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including
human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed
especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's
ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he was ill, &
asked, "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in
my side. I think I'm going to have a wife!"


This last one is out of the mouth of my co-workers 3-year old son Reese: "Our
father, who does art in heaven, Howard is his name...."