Chapter 1: The man who can't lose!

I am a 29 year-old unemployed man. I live in a tiny apartment in the deserted outskirts of Pink-Polka-Dot City beside Blue-Polka-Dot City.
Man! I wish I live there! Blue-Polka-Dot City that's where all the rich cookies live! I'm trying to get a job as an accountant but I haven't had much luck.
To be honest with you i feel depressed working as an accountant anyways. What i really want...
The dream that I've had ever since i had a pacifier in my mouth was to be Hero!
Like Super-Duper Man, or like Lightning Zeus Boy!
Now those are the real cash cows!
I am not happy in my current life, i want to become someone who the whole world will remember!
I want to be a Hero!

***

Another job interview. This time I will have to drive 2 and a half hours to get to the place. That's presuming that I will even get the job. That briefcase that carries my credentials as been my best friend as well as my worst nightmare for the past 3 years.
Jumping from ob to job I barely have enough money to get by. Canned food and junk food is basically what keeps me alive. Vegetables? HA! I don't have enough money to buy that!

Anyways I'm walking down Speed-o-Underwear Avenue with my black briefcase handy. Huh I wonder why there's nobody on the streets. Maybe a holiday? No, then my job interview would've been postponed. Then why?

What the--

A giant monster just appeared out of nowhere! It's huge! Massive! It has razor sharp teeth the size of knives, claws that could pierce steel. It bears a rather big belly; like the one an old man watching TV has. Is that thing even human? Oh my god!

"I am part of an extraterrestrial species planning on taking over earth! I have been sen here to see how powerful the human species is!" It's eyes rotate 360 degrees as it stares at me. "And for the fate of my species I will measure the strength of the human race by pulverizing you!"

"Hold on! I'm just a 29 year old unemploye--

The weird monster punches me right in the abdomen. I go flying back into a stone wall. I cough up blood. God this hurts!

I can hardly get up. It hurts so much.

"The human race is really weak. Like punching a toothpick. I thought the savage human race would be more powerful." Th monster grabs me by the neck. "Truly pitiful."

He slams me into the wall once more. If only Super-Duper Man was here! He could save me! He could save the city! He could SAVE THE WORLD!!!

But oh well what can a 29 year old unemployed man do?

I think to myself as this monster beats me over and over and over and over and oevr and over and over and over and over.... and over and over and over.

"You're so weak! I will have fun beating your species into a pulp!"

Why? My whole life I've been losing. EVERYTHING! Why do I have to be the one who takes all the pain. I wan to win! I will win!! I will never lose!!! I CAN'T LOSE!!!!!!

I jump up into the air and punch this mysterious creature. I punch it right in its grandpa belly. All of its organs go flying out of its back.

"This can't be--

The monster falls o the ground--dead! How did this happen? I didn't lose. No, that;s not it. I couldn't lose!

I am....Can't-Lose Man!