One day a young boy is going into the kitchen to get some cookies. In the kitchen he runs into his grandpa who is drinking some whiskey. He asks "What's that grandpa, can I have some?"
In response grandpa asks "I don't know, can you touch your dick to your asshole?"
Taken aback the boy says "no"
"Well when you can touch your dick to your asshole, come back here and I'll share my whiskey with you."
Slightly offended the boy gets his cookies and begins to walk out of the room but his grandpa stops him.
"Hey kid, wanna give your old gramps one of those cookies?" he asks.
The boy turns to his grandpa and says "I don't know, can you touch your dick to your asshole?"
Grandpa grows a big wide grin "I sure can!" he says.
"Good," says the boy "then Go fuck yourself. These are MY fucking cookies."
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