Callum Blades Jokes

Trousers: Hot off the press .

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I regret writing that.
Remorse Code

Does anyone here have a giant catapult?
No? It was a long shot..

Saw two space hoppers outside a nightclub.
I said: 'Who are you?'
They said: 'We're the bouncers'

I had a TV Show about trees.
But it got axed.

What do you get if you cross a human with a dog?
Arrested.

I can speak to kettles.
Because I'm boilingual.

Saw an artist dressed all in black.
It was Vincent Van Goth.

Hotel receptionists are bit inappropriate, aren't they?
They all just sit there, checking people out.

My girlfriend said: "Why do you always lie?"
I said: "Because it's easier than standing up"

I think I got a phone-call about the world's worst queue.
It was a very bad line