He shakes his wife awake at the asscrack of dawn and says, "C'mon woman, less'go! We gotta get them guns packed into the Chevy," and she says, "No, honey, I don't feel good, you go on without me," and he says, "You summ'bitch, do you know how long I've been plannin' this goddamn couples huntin' trip!? If you wanna stay home and sleep in all day, then you can pick one'a two options! One: I gets'ta to fuck you in the corncutter, two: I gets'ta fuck you in the mouth," and she sighs and says, "Well, I'm *not* going on this hunting trip, and I'm *not* going to let you fuck me in the ass, so I guess I'll give you a blowjob," and he says, "Well alrighty then, I'mma go get the dogs ready, you sit here 'n warm up yer jaw."
So he goes, gets the dogs ready, comes back into the bedroom and asks if she's ready to "chug on the pud" and she says, "Whatever, fine, just pull it out," and he does, but before she goes full-throttle she gives the peehole a little taster-lick and goes--
"**BLECH**, oh my God, why does your dick taste like shit!?" And he says, "The dogs didn't wanna go huntin' neither."
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