...and goes to hell. Satan himself greets Bill at the gates. "Welcome to hell, Bill. Come with me, allow me to give you a personal tour." So Bill follows Satan around, when they come to an endless wall of clocks, each one ticking at a different speed - some tick by at a crawl, and some tick rather quickly.
"Satan, what are all these clocks for?"
"Well Bill, there's a clock of each living person on Earth, and every time they tell a lie, one second is ticked away."
Bill thinks about it for a minute, then says "Satan, I'd like to see my wife's."
Satan replies "Oh, I keep Hillary's in my office. I use it as my ceiling fan."
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