Betting Jokes

Last night I got thrown out of the casino. As a sports bettor I completely misunderstood the crap table.

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A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, “Suzan, pack up your things. I just won a ฿1000 20 leg parlay!” Suzan replies, “Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?” The man responds, “I don’t care. Just so long as you’re out of the house by noon!”

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A bum asks a man for ฿0.002. The man says, “Will you buy booze?” The bum says, “No.” The man says, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum says, “No.” So the man says, “Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble?”

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Operator: May I know your username Sir?

Bettor: My username is Daffy Pluto Mickey Minnie Donald Road Runner Speedy Gonzalez London.

Operator: Wow, why do you have a username like that?

Bettor: Why? You guys told me it had to be 6 characters long and include a capital!

And lots more
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