April 1 . . .

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?


Old Lady: I am 94 years old.


Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?


Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.


Defense Attorney: Did you know him?


Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.


Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?


Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.


Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?


Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.


Defense Attorney: Why not?


Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Beaufort died some 30 years ago.


Defense Attorney: What happened next?


Old Lady: He began to rub all over my body.


Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?


Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.


Defense Attorney: Why not?


Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!


Defense Attorney: What happened next?


Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so spicy' that I just laid down and told him, "'Take me, young man. Take me now!'


Defense Attorney: And did he take you?


Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.