An pakistani in the US fears for his safety

Email note from Abdul in Washington to his friend Ahmed in Pittsburgh:

I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood.

So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.

I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIS in the centre. I grew a beard and only wear turbans in my freetime.

Now, the Washington Police, the FBI, the National Security Agency, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in the world are all watching my house 24x7x365.

My children are followed to school every day and my wife when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all.

I have never felt safer.