An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American are walking through the jungle when they are captured by cannibals.

They are brought before the cannibal chief. He says, 'I have some good news, and some bad news. Bad news is when you are dead, we are going to eat you, use your bones for tools and make canoes out of your skin. Good news is that you choose how you die.'
The Englishman asked for a sword, said 'God save the Queen" and ran himself through.
The Frenchman asked for a gun, said 'Viva La France' and blew his brains out.
The American asked for a fork and started stabbing himself all over till there were thousands of tiny holes spraying blood. The cannibal chief exclaimed 'What the hell are you doing?!?' The American looked up and with his final breath said, 'There goes your god damned canoe'

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