An american walks into a english pub ...

... before the dinner rush, sees that he is the only customer and goes to the publican.

"Excuse me sir! How much for a beer?" he asks the publican

"For you good sir. 2 Pence." He replies.

"2 PENCE! 2 PENCE! Wow that is really cheap. Okay how much for a toasted sandwich?"

"5 pence sir" he replies.

"5, 5 PENCE! okay how much is it for a nice juicy steak with no fat and a mountain of chips?" the customer asks.

"Well for 15 pence you could have all that plus bottomless beer, that I will refill when your glass gets to be about a quart empty."

"15 PENCE! Wow, that is a real good steel. Where is your boss? 'cause I want to ask him how he can keep his prices so low?" the customer says as he pulls a bar stool close to him to sit on.

"Well sir, he is upstairs with my wife." the publican says with a hint of sorrow in his voice.

The customer is a bit quizzical. "What is he doing upstairs with your wife?"

Then a large group of English football fans come in and start taking up seats at the bar and tables. The bartender starts to grin smugly.

"The same thing I am about to do to his business."

(note - publican is what you would call a bartender in a bar)

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