Airplane Pilot

One time I was on an airplane, and during the flight the pilot's voice came on through the plane's PA system.

The pilot sounded like a friendly man, and he said, "Good afternoon everybody, this is your captain speaking. The flight is going well and we are on schedule, but we do expect a brief pocket of turbulence coming up so we ask that you do remain in your seats until the seatbelt indicator turns off. Thank you!"

After a few seconds, the pilot's voice filled the airplane cabin again, except this time his use of the PA system was clearly not intentional.

The pilot said, to his co-pilot, "You know what I could really use right now? A blowjob and a cup of coffee."

The cabin grew restless, some people in shock, some people laughing to themselves. One of the flight attendants stood up from the back of the plane and ran up the aisle towards the cockpit.

Then the man sitting across from me shouted out to the flight attendant, "hey sweetheart, don't forget to play with his balls!"