So, an elderly couple was in the doctor's office and the old man said to the doctor, "Doc? Martha and me have decided we want to have a child". The doctor looked at them and said "You're 85 years old!" The old man cut him off, "I don't care doc, I want to father a child". The doctor shrugs, gives them a pill bottle and says he needs a sperm sample for a sperm count and to bring it back a week later.
A week later the doctor asks if he got the sperm sample.
"Well Doc, it's like this...first I tried with my right hand, then I tried with my left hand, Martha? She tried with her right hand and tried with her left hand, she tried with her teeth in and she tried with her teeth out and neither one of us could get the lid off that damn bottle."
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