Adam's introduced to Eve (how I know it and it's a "repost" btw!)

So, one day God comes to Adam and says: "yo, listen up mofo, got something sweet as for you!" Adam, was just finishing up smoking a bong, looks up at God and say "cool bro, what is it?". God, hyper as fuck, is like "man, this is Eve she's gonna be like your own personal slave. You can do whatever you want.. just one thing" *Adam just finishes loading up his bong and is having another smoke* "so, it's like you stupid mofo can't let her into the ocean. That's the only requirement!" Adam's like "mhmmm... whateves dude".

The next day was Monday, Adam wakes up, his morning wood tears through another one of his leaves, he's all pissed off because now he's got to go get a new one and it's in this tree and there's a fucking snake, anyway, that doesn't matter, he looks over to Eve and his morning wood almost punches him in the stomach. He's like "wtf?". He goes over to Eve, Eve's eyeing him up and down, licks her lips, at that moment, her leaf drops and she bends over to pick it up, the rest is history (up to your imagination).

Tuesday comes, whilst Adam's doing Eve, his bong drops off her back and he notices there's another hole there, just a bit higher. What's a guy to do? He sticks it in there hoping for the best, and it is! Now Eve's making all these new noises and Adam's feeling very alpha.

By Friday they're into bondage, he's even skinned one of the fluffy animals, in the garden of Eden, to make a spank table out of it. They're at it again, God rides his Harley by, looks at Adam, shakes his index finger and says "remember what I told you, douchebag!" Adam's like "yea whatev's bro!"

Saturday, they're into hardcore BDSM, Eve's tied to a tree, snake and all, Adam's practicing auto erotic asphyxiation whilst he's slapping Eve, by Saturday night they're all bruised and feeling very satisfied.

Sunday morning comes Eve wakes up, kisses Adam on the cheek and whispers "let's do it again" at this point Adam's exhausted, so he fumbles away and mumbles "leave me alone, even God rested on Sunday, do something else". Eve's like "ok, I'll go for a swim into the ocean, do some sight seeing, maybe pay that snake a visit, he was great last night". Eve walks on the beach, takes off her leaf, folds it and places it on the warm sand, giggles and goes straight into the ocean. At that point *poof, God appears and he's wearing steel cap boots. Starts kicking Adam and punching him in the head* Adam's like "wtf man? wtf? fuuuuck, stop!" punches and kicks don't slow down, they keep coming, and God thunders "what the fuck did I tell you, you imbecile?" Adam's like "I don't know, I was out of my mind smoking dope and shit man, fuck, stop!" God thunders again "Told you not to leave Eve into the ocean you stupid mofo!" Adam: "fuuuuuck stop man! what's wrong with the ocean?" God: "now we're never going to get the smell out of the fish!".

*thank you and sorry to all of you who now hate me*