Actual quotes from customers' calls

* My DOS system got corroded.


* I have about 20,000 megabytes on my hard drive.


* OK, I have a C: backsplash.


* Do I hit "F" and "8" at the same time?


* I have 384,000 free contentious memory


* I have a cursing flasher.


* Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?


"No, I only have 3 of them."


* I have Microword Soft.


* Do you want a forward backslash?


* You want me to "REAM" out SETVER?!


* I was flooding the help file.


* My BOOTLEG file didn't say anything.


* I just put on DOS/Windows 6.0 and my memory crashed the system.


* Press any key. "I can't find it!!"


* This DOS program says I have insignificant memory.


* How do I use my High Megabit memory?


* It says one copy filed.


* Where do I get the 6.2 step on disk?


* I'm having problems with Prodigy now, cause I bought a modem.


* I'm in the CONSYS.FIG file.


* I have SETUP.EXERSIZE on my B floppy.


* Can you hang on while I take out my earring?


* I lost my blue Cyanide color in DOSSHELL.


* When I type Empty Space TEMP it says bad command.


* I have a scummy card in my system.


* One moment while I PARK you (Please Hold).


* I have a terminant swap file.


* I have a terminal swap file.


* I have a termanent swap file.


* Why can't I call more than one BBS with one modem at a time?


this IS a MULTITASKING system, isn't it??


* I have a "teer" to "teer" network.


* I've been using Windows for well over 10 years now.


* I'm in 386 enchanted mode.


* Memory? Is that the RAM stuff?


* Why is my permanent swap file taking up 91K?! (9,186,532 bytes)


* Type SHELL=FROGMAN.EXE?


* What kind of system do you have? "HP!"


* My modem can't see my Windows!


* I have "SET TEMPERATURE=C:DOS"