A tourist backpacking the highlands of Scotland enters a bar, and inside there's only a bar tender and an old man nursing a beer. They sit in silence until the old man looks over to the tourist and says, "You see this bar? I built this bar with my bare han

The old man continues, "I found the finest wood in the county, gave it more love than my own child, but do they call me McGregor the bar-builder? No!"

He points out the window, "You see that stone wall out there? I built that stone wall with my bare hands; found every stone, placed them just so, through the rain and the cold. But do they call me McGregor the stone wall builder? No!"

The old man points out the other window, "You see that pier on the lake out there? I built that pier with my own bare hands, drove the pilings against the tide of the sand, plank-by-plank. But do they call me McGregor the pier builder? No!"

The old man looked down, took a swig from his mug,

and turned back to the tourist.

...


"But you fuck one goat.."