A Tale of Two Unfortunate Aggies

Two Aggies went ice fishing, but it was kind of a bust. They spent all weekend just clearing enough ice to get the boat in the water, and didn't have time to actually fish.

Someone was kind enough to explain to them how you ice fish. So they went to a new spot (too ashamed to go to the old one.) They took out their drill to cut through the ice. They heard a huge voice booming out of no where, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." They're a little discomfited, but seeing no one around, they set up and start drilling. Again, the voice, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." This time they can't take it any more, and one of them screams "WHO WAS THAT?" The booming voice replies, "THIS IS THE MANAGEMENT OF CHAPARRAL ICE RINKS, AND THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

Since ice fishing wasn't working out, they went hunting, and promptly got lost. One of them says, "WAIT, I heard that if you fire a shot off into the air, someone will hear and come find you." So they tried that. And tried it again later. Eventually the other one says, "I'm not sure about this. I'm running out of arrows."

Eventually, one of the aggies got the idea that he could just use a map and a compass to find their way out. His friend says, "Wait, you've had that the whole time?" So he sat down on the ground and studied the map for a solid 15 minutes, studied the compass and then studied the map some more. Finally, he jumped up and shouted, "GOT IT!" His friend said, "GREAT! Where are we?" He said, "See that tall tree sticking up from the top of that hill?" His friend said, "I sure do!" And he replied, "We're at the top of it!"

Fortunately, our two Aggies eventually stumbled across some tracks, and since they were getting awful hungry, they followed them hoping to find some food. Sadly, the train killed them.

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"Aggies" in this context are the intelligent, educated people of Texas A&M University. Jokes like the above are very common at the rival school, University of Texas, but I actually heard these, and many others from an alumni of A&M. (RIP, Charles Elliott) From what I can tell, Texas A&M actually has higher academic standards than UT, so no one is really taking it seriously.