A Story About Joe

There was this man, let's call him Joe. Joe was a religious man, he was the CEO of a multi-million dollar company, and he had a very nice house. One day, as he was heading to work, he heard a voice boom down from the heavens.

"JOE," the voice proclaimed.

"God? Is that you?" Joe asked, dumbfounded.

"YES, JOE, IT'S ME, GOD. LISTEN, I NEED YOU TO SELL YOUR BUSINESS."

"Oh yes, of course, God!" Joe said, ecstatic that God was speaking to him. Then, he did just as God asked, and sold his business for $500,000,000.

"What now, God?"

"YOU MUST SELL YOUR HOUSE, AND ALL OF YOUR WORLDLY POSSESSIONS" God thundered. And of course, Joe obliged, selling his house and all his possessions for another $1,500,000.

"Okay, God," Joe said. "I sold my home and livelihood. Now what must I do?"

"TAKE ALL OF YOUR MONEY TO VEGAS. THEN, GO TO CAESAR'S PALACE."

So, Joe did as God asked, buying a ticket to Las Vegas. After landing, he went to Caesar's Palace. Inside, he asked: "What now, God?"

"THE CASINO. YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY BLACKJACK."

Joe was hesitant, but he obliged. He took all of the money he had from his savings and from selling his home and business and went to the blackjack table.

"BET IT ALL ON ONE HAND."

Joe did as he was told, betting all of the money on the first hand. Cards dealt, Joe looked at his hand. A 5 and a 2, totaling 7.

"TAKE THE HIT."

A King. 17.

"TAKE THE HIT."

Nervously, Joe looked at the dealer's face-up card. A Queen. Begrudgingly, he took the hit without complaint.

A three. 20.

"TAKE THE HIT."

"God, are you sure? I mean, I have twenty, I should be..."

"TAKE THE HIT, JOE."

After a moment of silent reflection and prayer, Joe asked for the hit.

An ace. 21.

And that's when God said: "NO FUCKING WAY."