A priest was ill and unable to take confession...

...so he asked Mother Superior if she could cover for him.

"It's easy," he said. "When someone tells you their sin, just look at the chart on the wall and tell them the right prayers for repentance."

So Mother Superior goes into the confessional, and the first person who entered was a man.

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I cheated on my wife of seven years."

Mother Superior looked at the chart, and right under 'adultery' was "5 Our Fathers, 2 Hail Marys." So she tells him, "Perform five Our Fathers and two Hail Marys. Go and sin no more."

The next person was a woman. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole a purse from a store."

Mother Superior looks at the list, and reads what's there. "Perform two Our Fathers and a Hail Mary. Go and sin no more."

At this point Mother Superior is feeling kind of confident.

Another woman entered the confessional. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I gave a man I was unmarried to a blowjob."

Mother Superior checks the list. Blowjob... blowjob... Blowjobs weren't on the list. She tells the woman to wait a minute and leaves the confessional. She finds a passing altar boy and flags him down.

"Boy," she says. "What does the priest give for a blowjob?"

"Oh, he replies. "Usually just a Snickers bar and a pat on the head."