It's a slow day, and after awhile he finds himself in need to use the restroom. Unable to leave the confessional unattended, he calls over the church's janitor.
"I'm sorry, but would you mind covering my post for a short bit? It's the easiest thing in the world, all you need to do is sit here, and if anyone comes in, just consult this guide-book: it has every possible sin in it and what you should say in response."
The janitor agrees and the priest heads off to the bathroom, wouldn't you know it, as soon as he leaves, a teenage girl comes in to confess. With no other choice, the janitor tries as best as he can.
"Tell me your sins, child."
"Well Father, me and my boyfriend... the other day... we kissed."
The janitor flips through the book, finds kissing. "say one hail mary and don't do it again."
"The thing is Father... we actually did a bit more than that... we had sex."
The janitor flips through the book, finds premarital sex. "say two hail mary's and don't do it again.
"well... in all honesty, Father... my boyfriend is a bit kinky... and we actually did anal..."
"You've got to be kidding me," thinks the janitor. He flips through the book, but as hard as he looks, he can't find the entry for anal sex, it is simply not in the guidebook.
Now the janitor is starting to freak, worried both he and the priest will be found out, and that he could loose his job. Quickly, he peaks outside the confessional door and spots an altar boy walking by.
"psssst." hisses the janitor, calling the alter boy over, "quick, what does Father O'Thomas give for anal?"
The alter boy thinks for a moment then replies...
"Two Butterfingers and a ride home?"
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